Networking Without Borders

Would you believe me if I told you that last week I attended a networking event that helped me form mutually beneficial business connections and life-long friendships? What if I told you that I did this while being my authentic self, rather than my typical “I’m at a networking event and need to schmooze” self? As an event professional, even I think that this sounds too good to be true.

But, this past week I was part of an experience that exceeded my networking event expectations by forcing me to expose part of myself that is generally hidden when attending these types of events. The event was extreme - very atypical but the result was what event organizers strive for and dream of when producing events. 

Eighty professionals working in the event space were invited to attend a secret trip. We showed up at JFK airport, passport in hand, each with a suitcase packed for the unknown. Minutes before boarding a private charter, without knowing a soul on the plane, we were told our destination was Italy! I found my seat, and to my disappointment, it was a window. I told my seat mates that I was sorry - I’m generally better suited for an aisle because I get antsy and will be up and down nearly every hour. That was the first thing I shared. They smiled and said, “no problem” and we started to get to know one another. 

The plane ride to Italy presented continuous opportunities to let our guard down, some authentic and others planned. The women in my row were fascinating. We searched for commonalities, talked about our families, and shared what drove us to come on this trip. As promised, I was up nearly every hour. Getting up allowed our group to start engaging with the groups around us. We found people we had met at the reveal party, checked in on others to see how the plane ride was treating them and laughed about any number of things that had been happening as we crossed the Atlantic together toward Italy. We played “never have I ever” by holding up huge paddles in our seats, listened to standup comedy over the plane PA, had a DJ party with glow sticks, and more.

As the plane ride progressed we collectively got a little grungier, a little sleepier, less comfortable and therefore more vulnerable. However, our energy and enthusiasm for getting to know one another was only enhanced.

We landed in Italy, went straight to a 2 hour lunch (it was now 7am in Chicago) and then toured Pisa. The individuals I sat with at lunch were again - incredible. We shared different things about ourselves, our pasts and why we were on this trip. We barely talked about our jobs or our companies. I shared my husband’s trepidation, “Was this going to be like the movie ‘Taken,’ and how could I board a plane that couldn’t be tracked?” 

We then toured Pisa, commiserated over having to use the restroom without having Euro’s to pay and pulled resources so everyone could comfortably board the shuttles to our accommodations (another 1.5 hours away).

While we had all planned on showering and freshening up before dining together we were running late and so went straight to dinner. I’m sure everyone felt as tired and unpresentable as I did. The last thing you would ever do outside of this context is show up to a network event after 12+ hours on a plane and a day of touring! But we did it! And our connections were stronger for it.

To say that our guards were down and that we were exposed to one another is an understatement. We knew one another in a way that you know your best friends from summer camp, high school teammates, or friends made during your first few weeks in college. 

As the week progressed and we joined strategic sessions around elements affecting each of our businesses and careers we started to understand one another, not only from a personal degree but a professional one. People came up to me and said, “I need to know more about what you do.” I went up to others to share what they had said during a session really resonated with me because of experiences I had in the field. A woman I met during one of the session that I thought was amazing ended up moving into the extra bedroom in my corporate apartment. We found a group that stayed up late and bonded over managing a career in the event space, family, business modeling and balance sheets, and everything in between. At one point we all stood up and forced one another to give our pitches in 30 seconds or less and then died laughing we had so much fun. 

I had conversations that continued each day at lunch and on the buses to town and during cooking classes. We all wanted to share more of ourselves and learn even more about the others around us, and what we walked away with was incredible. 

The collective group is on a WhatsApp chat that is flooded with gratitude, understanding and a need for more. There are smaller groups communicating more deeply. There are business connections and partnerships that were formed as a result of our collective experience that are immediately transacting and those that will continue to be realized well into the future. 

From vulnerability and understanding came intention and action. Once we got to know one another deeply, not just superficially like you expect to at most networking events, we genuinely wanted to help one another and work together. 

My biggest takeaway from this event was how powerful being vulnerable can be to forming lasting connections. It allows us to be our true selves, something people can sense and appreciate as they are opening up with you. 

Event organizers aspire to create the type of event that leaves participants so changed for the better that they’re willing to provide public testimonials and where they can see tangible results. And while not all events can be a “secret vacation” there are some lessons learned which can be replicated on a smaller scale. 

If the goal is business connectivity start with vulnerability. Provide both organic and facilitated ways for your participants to interact outside of their comfort zone and be their true selves. When the focus is allowing participants to share and listen openly the value of the meeting will extend beyond the event itself and into a lifetime.